The Marriage Phobia

On that chilly morning of December, we were heading towards Meerut to attend my bua’s daughter’s marriage.

Damn! I don’t like congregations, specially ceremonial ones, in which:

    ·       In order to get ready, every one seems rushing here and there searching for their belongings   – sandal, duppatta, jewellery, make-up, hanky, comb, and what not.

    ·      People wear sophisticated, ornate dresses, and glittering jewels, and seem like competing with each other in terms of superficial beauty in the name of incomprehensible rituals and customs.

    ·     There you find ‘relatives’ who are not more than mere strangers.

    ·     Sophisticated things, and talks and despite of feeling so alone in the crowd, you have to wear a false smile!

   ·     Though all your favourite eatables would be available, but you don’t feel like having one there because that’s more like struggling in a battle amidst that unbearable crowd and you won’t want to spoil your dress.

Worse still, I feel conscious of even the sharp bright yellow light the photographer throws on the stage while recording videos, forget about going to stage for dance. I never felt so hesitant ever in my life. Perhaps I was relating the scenario to mine which made me feel nostalgic. Now, I wanted to escape the bitter cold and hide under the quilt at my home, alone…

I don’t know what do people murmur with smiling faces when I can’t find a single topic to propitiate talk with familiar people.  I wonder how they have a lot to talk about…

Bua asked us to have lunch. With absolute unwillingness, but compelled by courtesy, I joined the crawling queue. I took very less in my plate, and started eating like a bird, when meanwhile, I heard the song abruptly switch to a slow ceremonial one and as I turned around, I saw my cousin appearing beautifully in the pink green lahenga with her face shining accredited to the bridal makeup & ornate jewelry. Her mild smile and down eyes were giving more grace to her appearance. 

The bride proceeded slowly towards the stage, accompanied with her real sisters and other ladies. The cameraman maintained equal pace throwing the bright yellow light at her as she was inching forward. There I noticed one more thing, every bride seems so terrified because of that bright yellow light, because of so many eyes fixed at her, scanning her top to bottom and murmuring, and most importantly because it  is the biggest turning point of her life. Besides, these staring people make it more difficult for her.

When the girl’s family and relatives welcomed the groom with the in-laws, when the bride proceeds towards the stage with cameras focused at her and retro-romantic songs ringing so loud, when they garlanded each other, when they went for dinner, when they sat in the pooja, when they took 7 fere, and finally when everyone cried at her farewell, every time, my heart pounded, my head ached, my stomach sank. Because I was so afraid to see myself in her place.

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My head was throbbing with ‘HEADACHE’.

Fortunately, I met Chachi, the only relative who is more like a friend to me.  And amid our casual talks, she suggested me to get marriage soon and have kids. Oh god! Why do people start poking you for marriage at such occassions????? It’s more like calling you to jump into the dark abyssus after they have jumped!!!

At the same time, I looked around to  see all the examples of a busy and hectic married life live - my elder cousins - amisha di, Shulbul di, Shalini chachi, my good-looking jiju, my elder cousin brother, their neighbor cum friend, all running after their kids.. And I saw the day approaching fast when I would also become the part of that running and shouting…oops, what a nightmare!!!!!’

That day I realised, whether you like it or not, to jump into that abyssus is must. You can’t and should not run away from responsibilities, from growing a family, from marriage because it is a ‘necessary Evil’.

But, there is a message to all the bachelors, 

“Enjoy these days as much as you can, with all the joy and vigour, with friends, with whosoever you want. Even if you are alone, enjoy this loneliness, this freedom, this ‘responsibility-free’ bachelorhood. Because…

 One day, you will get married !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!