Perception

Mayuri was strolling with her friends after lunch along the pathway within her office complex. It was a part of routine. But for 2-3 days, she had a strange feeling about a group of boys whom she would see almost every day at the same time, same place. From the corner of her eyes, she would try to puzzle out the consistent gaze of one of those boys at her. Not seen clearly though, perhaps he would keep smiling looking at them. 

His wordless smile and piercing eyes would interrupt her talks. Maybe he was making fun of her acne-ridden face during that period of time, or maybe they were casually laughing amongst themselves. Whatever, Mayuri would feel conscious every time she would pass by the bunch. She hoped that her friends had not noticed his strange gaze. Talking so cheerfully to the girls though, she would stammer out of sudden distraction and avert her eyes from him, because she knew how ugly she would be looking.

One evening, when Mayuri was leaving for home, she saw the same group sitting on a pedestal right before her. As she continued to walk, they muttered something into that boy’s ears. She thought she heard something like, “bolde, aaj toh bol hi de”.

Oh yes, Mayuri was right, they were teasing the boy with her name, maybe because she doesn’t look good. They were just pulling his leg, making fun of her because that day, her face was more pathetic than ever.

As the boy looked up at her with his wide-open eyes and the same strange air around him, she avoided the eye contact as usual. And hiding under the blanket of inferiority, Mayuri scurried towards her cab, still not knowing what was the matter. But atleast she knew that those were not her glorious days at all.

Days passed, she stopped going for the walk because she was sick of humiliating herself and feeling conscious. Moreover, her skin would get better with the passing weather. So that, she would be able to confront a group of boys with confidence.  

But one day, he appeared all of a sudden from the corridor of her office floor when she was strolling there with her friend after lunch. The moment when she unexpectedly found him so close to her workplace was enough to make her hair stand on end. Out of nervousness, she chose to keep moving. But he beckoned to her friend to talk. Perplexed, she went up to him with mingled unease and smile, and Mayuri started taking small steps ahead in the corridor with mingled anxiety and curiosity.

In a while, she came running up to her, saying,

.

.

.

.

“He said that he likes you and wants to be friends with you”. “Bullshit!” Mayuri was feeling dead nervous and shy. There is no denial to the fact that it is a feeling of pride for any girl to know that she is being be admired by someone, that she holds a special place in someone’s heart, even if it was a mere infatuation which is likely to end too before it could turn into love.

She had never seen him properly, just from the corner of her eye. He was just a stranger to her, who just fell into such infatuation without warning. So just like any other modest girl, Mayuri chose to don the armor of vanity keeping her humility at bay rather than to give assent to the proposition.

Time passed, and after a week, her same friend on a similar walk told her, “today was his last day at his office. He met me in the lift and just asked me your whereabouts. He also asked me to give his regards to you and tell that he would miss you and would never meet you again. But if you want to be in touch with him, he is there on facebook. His name is …”.

“Leave it”.

“Why would I miss him”, she thought. “I have no memories with him to recall. He was just a stranger to me, a ‘no one’. And why would I like to add him to my face book, when I am not the least bit interested to know about him, not even his name.”

But her diary of the same day told a different story:

Deep down in my heart, I wanted to say, “Thank you”. Because I met someone who made me feel special, made me feel loved and desired at the time when I was not admiring myself. Though I don’t know his name, but whenever I don’t feel happy with myself, I would recall his face, and tell myself that he is someone who sees me in a different perception, who thinks of me as a much better person than I think about myself. And who sees me in a more bright light, than I see myself.

Deep down in my heart, I wanted to stop him, ask his name, let him ask mine, and propitiate some casual talks. Maybe, after knowing each other, we soon would fall in attachment and then in love, and some day we would be telling our children about our story. Alas! 

One thing I have learnt is that sometimes, people are just meant to touch our lives and go only to leave us with the realization that we may be more beautiful than what we think we see in the mirror, more righteous than what we think we deserve, and more capable than what we think we can do. It’s just a matter of …

'Perception'.”